I have been waiting for about 2 months now for the release in my spirit to release this post. Prayerfully and with my heart and spirit still full of it, I have been waiting… and tonight after replying to an email from my kindred friend and sister in Christ, Charmaine ” Garden Girl” http://runningfrombabylon.blogspot.com/ and some discussion with my daughter Olivia Adair http://livadair.wordpress.com/ the breakthrough finally came to share this. With all humility I hope to share in a way that gives God the glory … for it is HE who is the Good Shepherd.
For those who have been reading my blogs, you know that I have been in a season of some persecution personally involving the ministry the Lord gave me a vision to develop and lead over 23 years ago which is Yahweh Center Children’s Village. http://www.yahwehcenter.org Should I have expected this ?
Probably, as this ministry is about healing children and God’s name is on this place .. but I was blindsided. You see , I work on the concept of being a giver. I am a mercy person and also one that believes in accountability for when folks agree to be part of ministry—- that it requires hard times and faith times and respect for authority. My heart is for people and when I share the Word of God it is for encouragement and edification . How do we grow without being nourished and fed by it? But then it is all about perspective of the life as believers. This is the great purging of the ” church” and who we are and who we are not in Christ. The worst of us —the chaff being shifted from the wheat. The deep cuts of pruning. He seeks a vineyard with fruit and we cannot grow without the purging.. ouch!
The scripture of the Lord in the Bible is precious to me– not something that I use for “manipulation” but the enemy knows that is my heart.. so that particular accusation deeply pierced my heart. Oh, but wait.. that is the point is it not ? By circumcise of our hearts we get His heart. These are hard lessons. I do not profess to be a “perfect leader” but I do try with all I know how to do to seek Him of how to lead. He is developing the gifts of spirit and the fruits of the spirit in me and to develop my faith in a deeper way.
What breaks our hearts “breaks His too”. How other people view this is God’s business and it is not my battle. Meanwhile, this caused me to learn a lot about sedition and rebellion and witchcraft and what this all really means… for we do not wrestle with flesh and blood. This thing was much deeper than I understood. See Rick Renner at
Learning hard …about the walk we agree to when we go with Him. We must decrease so He can increase. That part is what is the struggle and so our Shepherd leads and sometimes the sheep scatter with sheep in wolves clothing lingering about. I can take the wolf out in the open but it is the “hidden” ones that blew me away. I am prayerfully working on seeking Him to be a wiser shepherdess.
Pushing all vulnerabilities to the side– yes I have been broken and “face down” in this time. It has been a time for me of deeper intimacy with the Lord–leaning not unto my own understanding ( working on that daily ) and the most troubled and blessed of moments of learning what this journey of being called to His purpose really means. This has involved all kinds of things– a myriad of emotions and trying to hang on to Him when it seemed He could not hear me at all. But I find that is the beauty of it… the place where when all is still and lonely .. . He is deeper still.
The enemy of our souls knows just where to go for our weak spots-– and also how to try to use accusation as a weapon of self doubt and to attempt to quench the only real hope we have… the relationship with Jesus and our faith in our Abba Father through the Word and the power of His name. The strategy is to break our confidence and wear down our faith by using our faith and His WORD against us. Doubt and whispering, the relentless murmuring.. the issue of the ages. What I have learned is truly very simple ,so simple it is almost too hard to grasp. It is that when we are weak, He is strong and when the enemy comes in like a flood… He raises a standard against it.
So shall they fear The name of the LORD from the west, And His glory from the rising of the sun; When the enemy comes in like a flood, The Spirit of the LORD will lift up a standard against him.
The details of all what went on are not even worthy of sharing– it is literally a narrow place but a place that the Lord puts His children through to help us be a more worthy lamb for the Shepherd to lead.
Psalm 23: 5
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell[a] in the house of the LORD
I know as He has told me when trying to understand it all; it is for me as a leader myself to get me ready for things that will be revealed to me and others as we grow in the fruits of the spirit in these last days. My heart is so full of praise for friends, intercessors, ministry supporters and amazingly people I don’t even know who prayed. How can I ever thank you
Oh my the power of prayer… how can we even grasp the supernatural factors in prayer. Moments when the calm of the storm around me was like a warm blanket — I could feel it surrounding me– the united prayers and hearts of believers who cried out in prayer. Prayer is a gift for those you are praying for … an offering. I read and do my devotional time with
Kathleen Dillard of ” Prayer Central ”
Kathleen says it this way….
Jesus is the Rewarder. He answers prayer and brings blessings on our obedience. He is generous, and we can never out-give Him. Consider these Bible verses, and let your faith be strengthened.
Hebrews 11:6 “And without faith it is impossible to please [Him], for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and [that] He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.”
Luke 6:38 “Give, and it will be given to you; good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, they will pour into your lap. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.”
Hebrews 6:10 “For God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love which you have shown toward His name, in having ministered and in still ministering to the saints.”
Matthew 6:6 “But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will repay you.”
Ephesians 6:7-8 “With good will render service, as to the Lord, and not to men, knowing that whatever good thing each one does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether slave or free.”
So now the reason for this post — to share how the Lord gave me in my dark moments a gift I cannot ever forget. He showed me His glory!!
One night right when all the hullabaloo of this “warfare” was at a fervor pitch from events from the day. I was down in my kitchen table just sobbing. It was late and my husband was in bed and I was so broken and literally crying out to the Lord, that I woke up my husband. He came downstairs, troubled and to comfort me.
Unbeknown to me, my dear friend Shirley was praying for God to show me His glory. The next day the prayers of so many were wrapping me moment to moment through unbelievable events coming in like a “flood”….
That evening when home about twilight– suddenly the light outside changed into a golden and crimsom hue , I cannot adequately describe. Still cannot.
It was if the sky had turned to liquid gold… but not just the sky but the atmosphere. It was about 8:30 PM and it was as if someone turned the lights on– I got up from where I was reading and ran to look out front— the wonder of what I was seeing immediately had me on my knees in praise. It seemed as if the heavens had opened and I truly thought maybe Jesus was coming.. and I worshipped! Then I called to my husband to come see and he did but it seemed not so remarkable to him. To be very candid, it seemed like there was something strange that he was not seeing what I was. So I was praying Lord–what did I see?
I then got a phone call from my daughter, Olivia who had been out walking their dog and she mentioned being outside and seeing the most incredible light and then coming in to put my granddaughter Eila to bed, she reported that Eila age 2 had said” mommy close the curtains, it is too bright, I don’t like it “.
So buoyed by our conversation– I keep seeking the Lord on it and He revealed it was His Shekinah glory. This lead me to a search which I found at this link…
http://www.hope-of-israel.org/glory.htm an excerpt from this is with bold emphasis mine
Throughout the Bible YEHOVAH God speaks of His desire for an intimate relationship with His people. The “Shekinah,” therefore, refers to the presence of YEHOVAH that was — but is not now — physically manifested in the time-space continuum. It could be seen. The presence was A VEHICLE OF THE PERSON OF YEHOVAH GOD IN THE THREE DIMENSIONAL WORLD. Solomon’s understanding that YEHOVAH cannot actually be limited to Temples on earth because of His eternal nature can be seen in I Kings 8:27 —
The writer goes on to share also the following:
Whenever that presence was physically manifested, it was frightening to those who experienced it:
When Moses had ascended the mountain, the cloud covered the mountain. The PRESENCE OF THE LORD [“Cavod YHVH”] abode [“shakan”] on Mount Sinai, and the cloud hid it for six days. On the seventh day He called to Moses from the midst of the cloud. Now the PRESENCE OF THE LORD [“Cavod YHVH”] appeared in the sight of the Israelites as a consuming fire on the top of the mountain. — Exodus 24:15-17.
Writes Fred P. Miller: “Earlier, the seventy elders had gone up into the cloud and actually saw the “Shekinah” glory, and they were so afraid they asked Moses never to take them again. As far as they were concerned, they saw God! You can only imagine their hair on end and their wide-eyed appearance as they came down from the mountain exclaiming ‘We saw God! It was terrible!'” (Zechariah and Jewish Renewal).
The frightening of seeing the glory of the Lord helped me understand why Eila was “afraid and didn’t like it. Putting this all together had me ” facedown” the awe of what I had been privileged to see… too precious to formulate. And even more a playing out of a covenant…. think of this my daughter and granddaughter saw it. Not my husband nor her husband but the 3 of us.She is my offspring and Eila the first of a direct generation…
And I will establish my covenant between me and you and your offspring after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your offspring after you.